First ultrasound
So I called the ob-gyn that I had been referred to before, and they said that I needed to go for an ultrasound this week to rule out an eptopic. This got me all worried again, but we were lucky and there was a cancellation so we were able to get an appointment on Tuesday.
My family doctor tried to refer me to another ob-gyn, but I asked to stay with the same one as before since I liked her, and my family doctor agreed. Then I found out that the one that I liked was considered to be one of the best, but that she is really busy. I was worried that my family doctor would be hurt that I wanted to go with an ob-gyn, but that doesn't seem to be a problem since she referred me without me asking for a referral.
So, back to the ultrasound, we went on Tuesday and this time I managed my bladder much better. I drank water all morning so I knew I wouldn't be dehydrated. I went pee one hour before the appointment and started drinking 30 minutes before the appointment. Ok, I know this is not the way you are supposed to do it, but last time I had a ultrasound, I drank the recommended amount and I was severly uncomfortable and then I found out my bladder was "too full". They say it is different for every woman, and on some hot days they have a waiting room full of women trying to get their bladders full.
The good news is that they were able to confirm the pregnancy, and confirm that it was in the uterus. What a relief. They measured it at around 1cm and said that they estimated we were at 7weeks+1day instead of the 6weeks+2 days that the calendar showed, based on my LMP (last menstral period). So I guess I ovulated earlier in my period, or this baby just wants to grow faster.
We were able to see a flicker of a heartbeat, which was amazing. Also, we asked them to print out a photo for us, even though it looks like just a bunch of grey and black blogs right now. She said that you can see a lot more at the 12th week and 18th week ultrasounds.
My husband was not allowed to come in to the ultrasound room at first, and he was upset that the technician told me many details before he was allowed in. I was suprised that they did tell me details, but they should have waited until he was there. Especially since they knew he was waiting outside and wanted to come in.
I am going to ask the ob-gyn why they have this policy and ask if I am allowed to insist that my husband comes in with me for the whole thing to hold my hand. I did some surfing and found some scary stories where the ultrasound results were not good, so I suspect that they don't want to be interupted and they don't want someone else watching the monitor when things are bad. But still, they should have told us the details together.
Yesterday I felt good for the first time in a while, and I think it was because I got a full night of sound sleep for a change. I was also really busy the whole day so I think I didn't have a chance to think about it, which is different when I am sitting at my desk bored and nauseous.
Meaningless update
My Mum is reading my blog and she says that anyone who knew me, would know it was me. But then I figure, what is the likelyhood of anyone I know actually reading this blog. So far the most readers I have had on one day is 9, so I am not too worried.
Feel nauseous this morning. I still have not thrown up, but I feel yucky most of the time. I am going to call the ob-gyn and my family doctor and make appointments today. It is so difficult to call from work, and my doctors office does not take calls at lunch, so this is going to be tricky.
The midwives don’t like us
So the midwife group told us they were full, but what I think they were really telling us is that we are not their preferred clients. It appears that if you want a midwife to accept you then you have to tell them that you would not want an epidural. I think they do this more to see if you have a similar philosophy. So if you are contacting a midwife group, you should have some idea of whether or not you want a natural birth.
Now to me, the term "natural birth" brings to mind hippies, and incense and giving birth at home without any medical supervision. I don't know where I got this image from, but now I hear that this term really means "drug-free" birth which is something I can relate to.
I did do some research on epidurals, but it is really difficult to research since every source has a different opinion. Many of the sites are trashing the "What to expect when you are expecting" book since it doesn't put enough stress on the risks and this is a book trusted by many. There are definatly other sections in the book that I don't agree with, such as the chapter on pre-testing and termination of babies with problems. They seemed to suggest that it was ok to consider terminating! I know there is something that not everyone is going to agree on, but they should have shown both sides more equally.
I found some medical web-sites about epidurals, but they are also very single-opinionated and some of them get into details and terminology that I am not familiar with.
So anyway, it doesn't matter right now. We didn't get accepted by the midwives and now I am going to go with either my family doctor or an ob-gyn. I think I like the idea of an ob-gyn better since they are dedicated to this type of medicine, and it means I don't need to sit in the waiting room with a lot of sick people (colds, flus) while I wait for appointments. Also, my doctor has been very rushed the past few times I have seen her and I really want more time to discuss things.
Isn’t Morning sickness supposed to be in the morning!
I just finished writing a post, but then I lost it. Damn. Let me try to re-write it.
So what I was saying is that over the past few days I have been feeling really nauseous in the afternoons. I feel fine when I wake up, except that I am really tired since I am not able to get a full night's sleep.
My Mum has recommended that I always try to keep something in my stomach, however that doesn't seem to be helping. Although the concept of snacking all day long is very attractive to me, I know I need to be careful not to gain lots of weight, especially so early.
I want to tell people that I am pregnant, but I know that it is still the first trimester and things are not certain. I especially don't want anyone from work to know. I have a female mentor that I am going to talk to about what the best way is to annouce my pregnancy to my manager.
If you read my earlier rant about work, then you will know that they annouced promotions and I didn't get one. However I talked to my manager on Tuesday and he is planning on promoting me later in the year assuming the business is doing well. I am still worried that I might lose my promotion due to maternity leave, but I will make sure that I know all my legal rights first.
I love having an anonymous blog where I can rant about work and pregnancy stuff. I don't even care how many people are reading this blog. I am just writing it for myself and I love it.
We contacted a midwife organization which we found through the Association for Ontario Midwives. They asked if I wanted to have an Epidural or not? How am i supposed to know that at this point? I need to talk to someone about all the risks first. I did some reading and it appears that it can mess with low blood pressure, and since I already have low blood pressure, there may be extra risks I need to be aware of. Anyway, we are on the list and will have to see if we get accepted or not. There is a much bigger demand than supply. I am surprised there are not more in the profession, I think it would be a very rewarding job to see babies being born all the time. Although they must have to work a lot of strange hours since babies arrive when they want to, and it usually is at strange times of day.
Told my parents
Yesterday I felt great. I actually slept more than 8 hours and I was able to get up early and get some of my work done.
My parents came over for dinner and we told them. They were of course really happy for us, my Mum wanted to start looking at knitting patterns right away. She likes knitting, but only for babies.
I cooked a chicken/brocolli/cheese cassarole, which tasted great even though the top didn't brown like it was supposed to. It wasn't as fancy as I wanted to cook for them, but I was able to cook it ahead of time and then spend time chatting with them before dinner. Then we had some fruit salad for dessert.
So now I have someone I can email and ask questions all the time who has already gone through this. She had fairly easy pregnancies and I am hoping that I do too. We are not going to annouce it to the wider world yet, but I know I would need to talk to my Mum if anything happened.
Last night I didn't sleep well so I am feeling a bit dopey again today. Although I just had a cup of tea, so hopefully that will help.
I am starting to rethink the whole mid-wife idea. I think using a midwife would be better as long as I can be at/near a hospital when delivering just in case. I don't think I am a high-risk pregnancy. I am 33, which isn't young, but isn't old either. So we are probably going to start looking into what options we have here.
Hcg over 9000
My doctor called on Friday and let us know that my HcG was over 9000 which was a good level according to my last period (May 7th).
Now I am finally starting to let my self be excited. This is really real.
So, of course, being me. I had to look up some stats. I found two sites which have info on what the levels are supposed to be. I know that a single reading has very little meaning, but here is the info anyway: conceivingconcepts.com and from "Understanding Diagnostic Tests in the Childbearing Year" 6th edition
Today I feel very lightheaded and dizzy. I don't feel like throwing up, but I was supposed to get a bunch of work done today and it is just not going to happen. I also didn't have my cup of tea today so that might be a factor too. During the week I have cut down to a single normal-sized mug of tea in the mornings, but I really shouldn't have caffeine on the weekends if i don't need it.
I haven't had a good night sleep in 3 nights now. Which is probably causing the light-headedness more than the actual pregnancy. I tried napping, but I always have a difficult time falling asleep during the day. Which is something that is going to have to change!
My mum just called to confirm dinner time tomorrow since they we had invited them for dinner. It felt weird not telling her, but I want to tell her in person tomorrow.
Anyways, enough of my ramblings.
Waiting for blood test result
So I went to see my doctor yesterday and they took some of my blood. Now we just have to wait until we get the results. Then I am going to have to go back and get another blood test so that we can confirm the levels are rising. I am not sure if they do this with everyone or just me because I had an eptopic before.
I am feeling a bit lightheaded, but no nausea yet. At least today is Friday so I have the weekend to relax and get my head around this baby thing.
I haven't been able to sleep very much the past few nights. It could be because it is too warm, or because I keep thinking about everything, or because my body is changing, or all of the above.
Now we get to decide which doctor or midwife we want. I don't think I want to stay with my family doctor because her office is at a clinic and that means sitting in a waiting room with lots of sick people. Also, she is so busy, I don't think she would have the time. The ob-gyn I went to before was really nice so I am thinking of going back to her. My husband seems to like the whole midwife idea, but I want all the support of a hospital and doctors and everything. Can a midwife requisition blood tests?
Doctor’s appointment today
So I called my family doctor yesterday to book an appointment. They were full, but since I told the receptionist what it was about, she squeezed me in. Especially since my doctor will probably first send me for a blood test which should not take too long
How, am I feeling? Well actually that is rather involved. You see yesterday at a work social event they announced promotions and even though I was on the short list, I wasn't on the list. I asked my manager if there would be any more promotions for the year and he said that he would discuss it at my salary raise meeting next Tuesday. Which probably means they will give me a good raise to compensate for not getting promoted. But I still feel very un-recognized and under-appreciated. I have been under my proper promotion level for at least a couple years now and am getting really frustrated. So I would quit right now except, well, I am expecting and I really don't want to start at a new company and go on Mat leave right away. So instead I am going to hang out with this company for a year and start looking for work when I am on Mat leave (see how I don't mention the company name – don't want to get sued or lose my anonymity).
I am lucky, in Canada we get a year Mat leave (which is really unemployment insurance), however I don't know if I can afford to take a full year. It is equivalent of $400 CDN a week (depends on your salary, but it maxes out at 400).
But I am probably jumping ahead of myself since I haven't even had a doctor confirm the pregnancy, and I am still concerned that it might be another eptopic.
Anyway, back to "how am I feeling". I should be estatic right? I have always wanted to have children and we have been trying for just over a year now. But instead, I find myself thinking about injustices at work. Is it because the "baby" idea just does not seem real yet? It is because I don't want to let myself get too excited, just in case? Maybe it will feel more real when I see the doctor and I get the results of the blood test.
My husband started taking photos of me yesterday so that we can have a "photo a day" for the kid starting from day 1. We setup the camera on a tripod and marked the corners so we should be able to reproduce the setup so the photos all are aligned and we can create a simple animation.
Stats for June 7 – week 2 or 3
I am also going to record my stats as time goes on. This is probably not very interesting to anyone else, especially since pregnancy is different for evreyone. But, so what, this is my blog.
Wednesday June 7 2006
Week: 2 or 3
Weight: 181.8
Weight gained: 0
Estimated due date: Feb 11 2007 (according to the chart in the book)
Feeling: sore nipples, a little bloated
Just passed the pregnancy test
I just performed a home pregnancy test an hour ago and it was positive. Yippee. So I decided to start an anonymous blog detailing my pregnancy experience.
I don't know how to feel. I am excited and nervous about the whole baby thing, but then I am also a little bit worried because I had an eptopic before and I don't want to get my hopes up until the pregnancy is confirmed. I called the Doctor and left a message so hopefully I will get an appointment before the weekend (today is Wednesday).
I decided to make this blog anonymous since the pregnancy hasn't been confirmed yet and I know you are not supposed to tell people for the first 3 months since there is like 20% of pregnancies that don't make it. I especially don't want work to find out since I am hoping for a promotion this year and I don't think I will get it if they think I am going on Maternity leave soon.
I just ordered THE book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" from Chapters. I have heard good things about this book from a friend. Hopefully it will arrive soon.
Now I have to go to work and pretend that everything is normal.
