The news is out
So I have finally told my manager at work, which means I no longer have to keep the biggest secret I have ever had to keep. (I am at 21 weeks). I feel better now that people around me know, I can talk about things and people will realize that I am wearing these strange clothes for a reason. (I borrowed some maternity clothes from a friend, but she is shorter than me so I have lots of tops, but very few bottoms.)
I have one black skirt and one black pair of pants that fit properly (and actually the pants keep falling down since they are 3-in-1 and I don’t have enough of a belly yet. I was using a safety pin to attach my pants to my bra, but now I have borrowed some suspenders so I will see how those work 
Anyway, I am just glad the cat is out of the bag and I can wear clothes that make me look pregnant instead of just fat. Also, maybe people will be more understanding now of how tired I get.
I woke up three times last night, twice to go pee, and once to kick the cat out of the bedroom (I have allergies, and the gate doesn’t always keep the cat out). So this morning I was really grumpy, but now I feel ok and am heading to my second prenatal yoga class.
My pants no longer fit
I have been on vacation for the past couple weeks, and my track pants fit fine, but I had to get back into work clothes today and nothing fits.
I had picked up a maternity black skirt recently that I wore today, but I was sure everyone was looking at my tummy. I had to go shopping after work today so that I would have something different to wear tomorrow.
We have “Thyme Maternity” stores everywhere, so I thought I would try someplace else. I went to “Motherhood Maternity” and they didn’t have many petite black pants and the customer service was horrible. One guy helped me find a size, but then no one helped me decide what fit best or to help me with other sizes. So I went to “Thyme Maternity” (I am lucky that the Eaton Centre has two maternity stores in the same mall). They were so much more helpful there and had a better selection of pants (two types to choose from instead of one). I also ended up getting a more supportive bra and some underwear.
I ran into another shopper who had also started at the other store and ended up at “Thyme Maternity”, she also complained about the customer service at Motherhood. The prices were cheaper at “Motherhood Maternity”, but it is important to make sure the clothes fit.
The books say that you shouldn’t buy everything all at once, especially since you don’t know exactly what shape you will be. So I will go back next month and get something new too. I have borrowed some clothes from a friend, but not enough to last me through another 4.5 months.
Meaningless update
My Mum is reading my blog and she says that anyone who knew me, would know it was me. But then I figure, what is the likelyhood of anyone I know actually reading this blog. So far the most readers I have had on one day is 9, so I am not too worried.
Feel nauseous this morning. I still have not thrown up, but I feel yucky most of the time. I am going to call the ob-gyn and my family doctor and make appointments today. It is so difficult to call from work, and my doctors office does not take calls at lunch, so this is going to be tricky.
Hcg over 9000
My doctor called on Friday and let us know that my HcG was over 9000 which was a good level according to my last period (May 7th).
Now I am finally starting to let my self be excited. This is really real.
So, of course, being me. I had to look up some stats. I found two sites which have info on what the levels are supposed to be. I know that a single reading has very little meaning, but here is the info anyway: conceivingconcepts.com and from "Understanding Diagnostic Tests in the Childbearing Year" 6th edition
Today I feel very lightheaded and dizzy. I don't feel like throwing up, but I was supposed to get a bunch of work done today and it is just not going to happen. I also didn't have my cup of tea today so that might be a factor too. During the week I have cut down to a single normal-sized mug of tea in the mornings, but I really shouldn't have caffeine on the weekends if i don't need it.
I haven't had a good night sleep in 3 nights now. Which is probably causing the light-headedness more than the actual pregnancy. I tried napping, but I always have a difficult time falling asleep during the day. Which is something that is going to have to change!
My mum just called to confirm dinner time tomorrow since they we had invited them for dinner. It felt weird not telling her, but I want to tell her in person tomorrow.
Anyways, enough of my ramblings.
Doctor’s appointment today
So I called my family doctor yesterday to book an appointment. They were full, but since I told the receptionist what it was about, she squeezed me in. Especially since my doctor will probably first send me for a blood test which should not take too long
How, am I feeling? Well actually that is rather involved. You see yesterday at a work social event they announced promotions and even though I was on the short list, I wasn't on the list. I asked my manager if there would be any more promotions for the year and he said that he would discuss it at my salary raise meeting next Tuesday. Which probably means they will give me a good raise to compensate for not getting promoted. But I still feel very un-recognized and under-appreciated. I have been under my proper promotion level for at least a couple years now and am getting really frustrated. So I would quit right now except, well, I am expecting and I really don't want to start at a new company and go on Mat leave right away. So instead I am going to hang out with this company for a year and start looking for work when I am on Mat leave (see how I don't mention the company name – don't want to get sued or lose my anonymity).
I am lucky, in Canada we get a year Mat leave (which is really unemployment insurance), however I don't know if I can afford to take a full year. It is equivalent of $400 CDN a week (depends on your salary, but it maxes out at 400).
But I am probably jumping ahead of myself since I haven't even had a doctor confirm the pregnancy, and I am still concerned that it might be another eptopic.
Anyway, back to "how am I feeling". I should be estatic right? I have always wanted to have children and we have been trying for just over a year now. But instead, I find myself thinking about injustices at work. Is it because the "baby" idea just does not seem real yet? It is because I don't want to let myself get too excited, just in case? Maybe it will feel more real when I see the doctor and I get the results of the blood test.
My husband started taking photos of me yesterday so that we can have a "photo a day" for the kid starting from day 1. We setup the camera on a tripod and marked the corners so we should be able to reproduce the setup so the photos all are aligned and we can create a simple animation.
Stats for June 7 – week 2 or 3
I am also going to record my stats as time goes on. This is probably not very interesting to anyone else, especially since pregnancy is different for evreyone. But, so what, this is my blog.
Wednesday June 7 2006
Week: 2 or 3
Weight: 181.8
Weight gained: 0
Estimated due date: Feb 11 2007 (according to the chart in the book)
Feeling: sore nipples, a little bloated
